Let'sThink about The Journal

Picture that's on my journal

This is a topic i have been thinking of since the beginning of the journal.  I actually believe my first entry is about this that I'm about to say.  I feel like this is my video blogs (vlogs) on paper. 2 years ago I started vlogging with a group of people i met online and became friends with, and after a while i started doing daily ones for myself where i would talk about what i did in my day and about whatever was on my mind, and writing in the journal feels just like that.

Around 50 days in the videos, i stopped doing them daily, and for a few reasons, like : I was just complaining for 6 minutes, or i didn't feel like i had anything of true substance to say, and sometimes i felt like i could be using those 6 -15 minutes more productively.  That has been my problem writing in the Journal.  I didn't feel alright writing everyday because i felt a lot of times, like i was losing my time just complaining for 10 minutes, and sometimes this just made me feel worse.  Of course there were some times i actually talked about something important to me.

Here's the thing, I live a happy life with almost no problems apart from work stress (horrible i know, i am so tortured) so when i was thinking of problems to talk about or thoughts for going and tapping the jugular all that came out was work stress and the occasional "I kinda feel lonely" and that feeling goes away quickly, and i once or twice talked about the problems my family faced a few years back but apart from that I mostly just wrote about immediate thoughts that had no relation with each other  nor real context at all just a bunch of  "Im tired, i need to do work, im in x class and i want to keep reading my book" "i heard someone walk in, i hope its my friend".

I used to dream and remember a lot but now it only happens mid-day weekends, when i take naps, and writing after wake up is a disaster.  It doesn't matter if it's weekday or weekend trying to write tired ends up me writing about how tired i am or me writing with my eyes closed which can end up either ok or horribly.

Final thoughts on the Journal: After 41 journal entries i can say....It was a nice experience, i enjoyed it, but i didn't particularly enjoy HAVING to make it.  I think i'll stick to video journals because i feel more comfortable and closer to it alredy, it helps me talk in english and gives me something to watch later on, with a bit more context by looking at my room or my state.